Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
Have you ever lost it for a time, lost every incentive for living, perhaps at the demise of a loved one or the sudden end of an important career or the best job you ever had?
Chances are you pulled out of it within a week or two through the care and concern of close friends or getting plastered for a night, and then moving on.
What do you do when your sorrow and despair persist, not for hours and days, but for weeks and months?
Why Depression Matters
Suicide is the number one cause of death among teens and youth and a major cause of death in aging people. In the U.S. alone, someone commits suicide every 15 minutes. The rate is much worse for returning and aging vets, as well as vets who are people of color.
It has been estimated that, in recent years, more people die of suicide around the globe than die of all wars and natural disasters combined. Yet vastly less research goes into curing depression and preventing suicide than goes into finding a cure for breast cancer.
All of us are vulnerable at one time or another to despair and depression.
I have had several bouts with it in my lifetime, and if it wasn’t for the grace of God and the compassion of other people, I wouldn’t be here today.
It is amazing how deeply people resonate to Shakespeare’s lines around life being “a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.” If that is the case, why go on, why even try?
Depression Can Have Many Causes
While chronic depression can, or should be, the domain of clergy, physicians and psychiatrists, it is apparent that numerous factors trigger depression. It can be the result of biochemistry or even genetics.
Some people are more prone to depression than others. Pessimists with low self-esteem and who are not adept at dealing with acute stress are particularly vulnerable.
Also, not only military service, death in the family or divorce, but also continued exposure to an environment riddled with violence, neglect, abuse and poverty increase your susceptibility to depression.
My past experience with the human potential movement, as well as a little private therapy along the way, have pointed to a more basic factor that can bring us down emotionally: unexpressed anger that gets locked in, trapped energy that drives us to shut down.
Anger Turned Inward Can Bring About Depression
If we delve deeply into our past, we will often find people, living or deceased, with whom we are still upset.
We have a thwarted intention and an undelivered communication that has persisted for years and years that undermines our relationship. Often it is mom or dad, or a current or former spouse or lover.
For example, in growing up, we have all had a moment where we interpreted our experience in such a way as to conclude that we were unworthy as we are, and had better play the game to survive. I remember several situations before I was seven or eight that took their toll on my well-being.
In our culture, a mother or father cannot easily tell their children that they hate them, and vice versa. A husband or wife cannot tell one another that they’ve lost all their original love without dire consequences.
So, they bury their feelings, fail to open up and express their frustration and end up shutting down.
To Heal Your Depression, Deal with Your Unexpressed Anger
While medication and various kinds of psychotherapy can prove useful, even something as simple as light therapy in northern climates where it is constantly dark for half the year, it is liberating to realize that often you can simply get back in touch with the anger you repressed, and deal with it.
- Is there something you are not saying to someone who matters very much to you that is killing you?
- Can you continue to withhold without shutting yourself down?
Years ago, Werner Erhard, with his breakthrough enlightenment program, est, experientially demonstrated the power of communication to hundreds of thousands, even millions, of participants.
Werner put it that love is a function of communication. Communicate responsibly, and your anger and upset will disappear, and feelings of love will automatically rush up within you.
This has happened so many times in my life that I am convinced of its efficacy.
Related article: Exit Endless Suffering
Forgiveness Is Always the Way Out
Whatever other factors may be holding you down, forgiveness is always the way out, because it releases trapped energy.
The word for forgive in the New Testament, means literally, to loosen up, let go, no longer hold onto a past condition or perception. It is not simply a question of turning your cheek and saying, “I forgive you for what you have done, but I will never forget about it.”
Rather, it is erasing the offense in your heart and mind and saying, “Let’s begin again. What’s past is past.”
Every great spiritual tradition stresses the importance of forgiveness, but none more than Christianity, perhaps because the Holy Land of Israel and Palestine have been the site of almost continual violence and warfare over the centuries.
It is significant that the parting greeting there is “Shalom!” or “Peace!,” because, so often, that has not been the case.
Jesus Christ personally made forgiveness His ultimate message to humanity, not simply because we need forgiveness, but because we need to forgive others, God and ultimately ourselves.
The hardest thing in the world is to love and forgive yourself, because you know yourself all too well.
Perhaps it took a story as powerful as the Gospel to convince humanity to start taking forgiveness and pardon seriously, and most of all, live it day to day.
Show Compassion Towards Others Who Suffer Depression
If you have someone in your life who seems angry and depressed, pay attention to them, listen to them, encourage them, and when appropriate, guide them to seek professional help.
Sometimes a serious depression can hide underneath anger… and we, as outsiders, can mistake it for something insignificant (such as a character flaw). And when that anger is directed towards us, we get hurt and then… we turn our backs on our family and friends.
Forgive + Communicate + Listen.
I have lost a couple of acquaintances in my life, due to suicide. I have learned the hard way to avoid taking anyone for granted.
We are reminded of Saint Francis’s matchless prayer:
Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
Could Depression Be Self-Directed Anger? appeared first on http://consciousowl.com.
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