Have you ever wandered into a loud late-night party and felt invisible? No one saw you, and you couldn’t see anyone else. You wondered why you were even invited.
This may have happened to you as well when applying for a job. The vibes in the building before the interview felt totally weird. Clearly, this just wasn’t your scene.
You might even begin to doubt yourself. Others are younger, smarter, more beautiful or handsome, more talented and more affluent. What chance do I have to stand out and become a star?
Can I Consciously Create My Own Story?
We are all stars in our own life story, where every story intersects every other story. We were sent by Central Casting to play out a particular drama, taking on a unique role and set of attributes. Perhaps our pre-incarnate self jumped at the opportunity. “Director, send me. I can do it! I am ready to take on all those challenges.”
We all have a past with both happy moments and disappointing moments. In our childhood, we came from being deeply in touch with divinity to running into arbitrary adult demands.
We soon made decisions to adapt and play the game. We started with no worldly knowledge. We even had to learn how to talk and think. Before, we were simply alive, relishing pure being. In the womb, we were kept warm and comfortable, floating like a dolphin.
At some point in your teens, you began to put together an act that you could barely pull off. If you were ultimately successful, people began to buy your act.
You eventually succeeded in everyone accepting that this social mask is YOU.
Once you come alive to your role as co-creator, you can design your future and begin to course correct a little closer to your heart’s desire. You know that you are divine, but you also recognize that you are uniquely human and want to make the most of that experience.
Related article: What Am I? versus Who Am I?
Self-Awareness Begins With… What do I Fear Most?
The process of recovering a solid sense of self-awareness that leads to self-acceptance, and eventually self-esteem, starts with facing your fears.
We often run our pretense so hard that we repress our own fears to the point where they come back to haunt us. It may be years since we seriously played back our childhood memories.
A simple example might be that you were alone in a big city as a four-year-old with your mommy when suddenly she disappeared without any explanation. You were left for five or ten minutes to wander about with a growing fear of abandonment.
Perhaps you got to the point where you actually started balling! An older gentleman came up and wiped off the tears, asking where you were from. The best you could do is point to wherever you thought home was. Your mom then reappeared, and you finally breathed a sigh of relief.
These childhood fears accumulate, even though they grow increasingly subtle as we grow older.
All fears boil down to loss, losing that which we need to survive on any level: physical, emotional, social or financial. The feeling that I am not enough, or I don’t have enough comes to dominate the mind.
Most of the time this feeling of fear is emotion-based. Once these emotions are triggered (fear or fear of loss) our mind gets out of hand. Our thoughts can pick-up our feelings and take them dark places.
Our thoughts will naturally lean towards the negative side of things and suggest all the negative ideas or possibilities first (like your mom abandoning you). Therefore, being self-aware of your emotions can help you catch your thoughts before they get out of hand and put a stop to it.
Become Self-Aware of What Do I Love Most?
Likewise, putting your heart over your head and tuning into what it tells you that you truly want is immensely instructive.
Your preferences and aversions are clues to where you need to appear on the stage of life. In this incarnation, you were given unique capabilities, talents or gifts, with which you can serve others and make a difference.
Some of us are so driven by routine and the relentless pressure of a complex global society that we stopped smelling the roses long ago. We scarcely have time to breathe. We adopt whatever our friends adopt and take no time to consider what our heart is telling us.
A simple example might be that you need to lose 10, 20 or 40 pounds, but you love chocolate. You have been put on a rigid diet of counting calories. You might even be put on a low-fat, low-protein, high-carb diet, which has been proved ineffective.
You are continually frustrated, because you missing the filling quality of protein and fat. You lose 10 pounds, mostly water, only to gain it all back, and then some more.
Ironically, the thing you love most, the chocolate (cacao… to be exact), is actually good for you. It is considered a superfood with many medicinal properties. The problem lies with the cream and sugar often dumped in along with it.
What is the solution? Get up-to-date on recent nutritional findings. Enjoy your fat with a limited amount of sugar without guilt. You don’t have to overdose on it. Buy the very best chocolate you can afford, as dark as you can without it seeming too bitter. Relish the experience.
If what you love most is delicious food, more power to you! Only eat consciously. Be self-aware of your portions. Cut them in half and you won’t need any diet plans.
Examine Yourself - How Do I Make the Greatest Difference?
Take inventory of yourself, your skills, preferences, priorities, sensibilities and convictions. You might do a values clarification process.
What I, personally, have found most helpful is the work of Richard N. Bolles with his What Color Is Your Parachute?, along with the Parachute Workbook and The Three Boxes of Life. Richard, a former Episcopalian minister, became the world authority on career development.
He takes a holistic view of life, applying differential psychology. What makes you unique, special and different from anyone else?
Understanding The Big Picture
You are uniquely precious. No one on earth can replace you. You were sent here with a mission. Not only is the play about waking up to your Supreme Identity; it is also about serving all the other actors and actresses in this blockbuster of ours.
You are a star among stars. When you exercise your talent to the max, you will not only win audience applause, you will experience utmost fulfillment. You serve others by supporting their role. You help them shine. You help them not only look good, but also feel good.
As the great Philanthropist who opened up Africa to Europe, Albert Schweitzer, put it in his commencement address: “I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.”
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