Self-Acceptance Definition

Have you ever deeply doubted that you have what it takes to make it?

Do you feel that your parents might have made a mistake in bringing you into the world? Do you feel everything is fragmented and meaningless, and there is little point in going on?

Then you may be ripe to take a closer look at self-acceptance, and how it impacts your life today.

Why Accepting Yourself Is Necessary

None of us can be effective if we are at odds with ourselves, totally preoccupied with our own deficiencies and how we stack up against others.

If you don’t believe in yourself, if you are not on your own side, it is very difficult to win, whether in tennis or changing the world.

We can easily recall famous people -- stars, politicians and writers -- who used what they had to achieve distinction. They may not have been endowed with the greatest talent, but they carefully developed whatever they were given and promoted that capability to the maximum.

We can also recall recent celebrities who seemed to have everything: fame, beauty, wealth, accomplishment, even power, who did themselves in through drugs, alcohol, or even suicide. If any of these things were the answer, those people would never have even thought of ending it all.​

What Self-Acceptance Is NOT

Most of us have a very limited notion of self-acceptance.

For example, we might all agree that people with an inferiority complex who readily put themselves down in front of others have a problem.

However, it is not so easy to see that people who continually boast about themselves and come across totally self-centered are actually people with an inferiority complex who have cleverly turned it into a superiority complex to mask their insecurity. One can even think of Presidential candidates who fall into this trap.

One can also think of people who continually make excuses for themselves, breaking personal agreements right and left. They let themselves off the hook all too easily and rarely measure up to a challenge. While they may appear most charming, you can never really count on them, nor can you ever safely level with them. Self-acceptance is empowering, not simply a convenient cover for laziness.

Self-acceptance is not even a matter of being totally realistic about everything and discarding your dreams or ideals. Whether or not you love yourself and others goes much deeper than simple pragmatism. Too often, this same pragmatism can be a rationale for becoming rigid and locked into a fixed pattern, rejecting any further growth.​

What Self-Acceptance Actually IS

Self-acceptance comes out of a subtle balance between your inner and outer worlds.

You have an inner life, and you enjoy being with other people. You are attentive to your own feelings and desires, but you are not obsessed with them. You are interested in a subject for its own sake, whether it is sailing or filmmaking.

You also welcome learning new things and discovering new possibilities from others. For example, you are never too old to learn a little Chinese.

Inner love comes from inner growth!

You are on your own side. You are truly your own best friend. On top of it, you have faith that God (or the Universe) loves you and believes in you.

Also, you don’t try to do it all yourself, but consciously seek empowerment and nurturing relationships. As the saying goes, “Please be patient with me. God is not finished with me yet.”

You are deeply grateful for the miracle of life and take joy in everyone and everything.

You are as happy for a colleague’s promotion as your own. You readily serve yourself to the most generous piece of chocolate cake, while gladly sharing it with someone who wants it more than you.

You live to make a difference (even on the small-scale), like Steve Jobs’ “crazy ones.” As Steve put it, “The ones crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.”​

How to Know When You Have Arrived

When you are consumed by a higher purpose, and driven to accomplish something beautiful before you pass on, you are close.

When you are deeply grateful for the privilege to be part of the first generation in history with a real say on whether we have a future or not, you don’t have to look far.

When you have participated in group encounters and gotten under enough people’s skin, you will finally discover that it is OK to be NOT OK, that you are OK just the way you are.

It may sound impossibly corny, but it really is true that God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life. You can interpret “God” any way you like, but this applies, not simply to card-carrying Christians, but to each one of us, to both you and me!

** For more tips on how to experience self-acceptance click here.**​

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